Cornering the Market: Over 200 Puns That Will Put You in the Right Angles

Hey there pun enthusiasts! If you're ready to tackle some hilarious wordplay, you're in the right place. I've been cornering the market on puns, and I've got over 200 witty and punctual jokes that will have you in the perfect angle of laughter. So, get ready to rectangle your face with smiles because these puns are acutely funny! Let's dive in and bisect our time with some pun-derful humor.

1. Best Puns

1. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems!
2. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
3. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
4. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint!
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
6. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
7. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
8. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
9. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
10. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I'll go on a head!
11. I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something!
12. The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
13. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
14. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired!
15. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's riveting!
16. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
17. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
18. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
19. The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up!
20. When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic!

2. Popular Puns

1. Why was the math book always worried? It had too many problems to solve!
2. When the comedian's car broke down, he said, "Looks like I'm running out of puns!"
3. What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time!
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field!
5. Did you hear about the vegetable who couldn't turnip for the party? He was stumped!
6. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. What happened to the guy who got hit in the head by a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink!
8. Why don't we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
9. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line!
10. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was tired of standing up!
11. How do you organize a space party? You planet in advance!
12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite!
13. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
14. What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange, of course!
15. Why don't we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
16. How do you catch a bra? With a booby trap!
17. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? "Supplies!"
18. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? Thesaurus!
19. Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants!
20. When the music teacher told the note to cease, it was a sharp ending!

3. Short Puns

1. Why did the geometry book go to therapy? It had too many issues with its shape!
2. What do you call a broken angle? Acute disaster!
3. Why don't circles make good comedians? Because their jokes always come around!
4. Did you hear about the pun that got into a fight? It was armed with pun-chlines!
5. How do you make an octagon laugh? Tell it a sidesplitting joke!
6. What do you call a polygon that loves to garden? A plant-angle!
7. Why did the square go to the beach? It wanted to get some tan lines!
8. What do you call a hexagon that can't stop talking? A chatterbox!
9. Why did the parallelogram go to school? It wanted to be well-rounded!
10. What's a polygon's favorite travel destination? The Bermuda Triangle!
11. Why did the triangle go to therapy? It had too many acute problems!
12. What do you call a shape that's afraid of commitment? A circum-flex!
13. Why did the rectangle ask the circle for advice? It needed a well-rounded opinion!
14. How did the square keep warm in winter? It snuggled up with its right angles!
15. What did the angle say to the protractor? "You're really getting under my skin!"
16. Why did the polygon become an artist? It wanted to draw some attention!
17. What's a shape's favorite type of music? Hip-hop because it's all about angles!
18. Why did the triangle join a band? It wanted to play some sharp notes!
19. What do you call a shape with an attitude? A pentagon with some edge!
20. Why was the circle always invited to parties? It had an all-around great personality!

4. Puns with Questions and Answers

1. Why did the square go to the party?
   Because it wanted to meet some new right angles!
2. What did the acute angle say to the obtuse angle?
   "You need to change your perspective!"
3. Why did the circle refuse to play hide and seek?
   It couldn't find any corners to hide in!
4. What's a polygon's favorite game?
   Twister, because it's all about twisting and turning!
5. Why was the protractor always late to work?
   It had trouble getting its angles in line!
6. Why did the rectangle break up with the triangle?
   It couldn't handle the love triangle drama!
7. What's a line's favorite pick-up line?
   "I'll never be parallel without you!"
8. How did the circle apologize to the triangle?
   It offered a round of peace offerings!
9. Why did the polygon go to the therapist?
   It had pent-up sides and needed some closure!
10. What did the square say to the triangle during an argument?
    "You're just being obtuse!"
11. Why was the angle always calm in stressful situations?
    It had a good degree of composure!
12. What's a circle's favorite social media platform?
    LinkedIn, because it's all about connections!
13. Why did the triangle join the debate club?
    It always had a pointed argument!
14. What do you call a triangle that's always procrastinating?
    A procrastinangle!
15. Why was the parallelogram a good chef?
    It could always handle the right angles for cooking!
16. What's a polygon's favorite movie genre?
    Action-packed, with lots of twists and turns!
17. Why did the circle win the dance competition?
    It had the best moves around!
18. What did the square say to the polygon at the party?
    "You've got some great angles! Let's hang out!"
19. How did the triangle apologize to the rectangle for the argument?
    It offered a triangular peace offering!
20. Why did the polygon always bring a compass to school?
    It wanted to find its true direction!

5. Funny Phrases

1. Why did the obtuse angle bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to rise to the occasion!
2. What's a circle's favorite mode of transportation? A round-trip ticket!
3. Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't figure him out!
4. What did the square say to the triangle who kept telling puns? "You're really pushing my limits!"
5. How did the acute angle introduce itself? "I'm acute-y charming!"
6. Why did the rectangle skip breakfast? It didn't have time for cereal pursuits!
7. What's a polygon's favorite game to play with friends? Shape charades!
8. Why was the parallel lines' relationship so successful? They were always running in the same direction!
9. What did the circle say to the triangle who was feeling down? "You're not alone, we're all in this together!"
10. How did the octagon become a successful comedian? It had eight times the punchlines!
11. Why was the geometry teacher always honest? She could never keep any angles to herself!
12. What's a square's favorite kind of art? Geometry paintings - they're always so well-structured!
13. Why did the triangle enjoy watching movies? It loved the triangle drama on the big screen!
14. What did the circle say to the polygon who was feeling underappreciated? "You're a valuable shape in my eyes!"
15. How did the line try to impress its crush? It kept dropping subtle hints!
16. Why was the hexagon so successful in business? It always had six points of view on every decision!
17. What's a square's favorite type of humor? It loves puns because they're always so square-y funny!
18. Why did the parallelogram take up meditation? It wanted to find inner peace and symmetry!
19. What did the circle say to the sector who was unsure of itself? "You're a piece of the pie, don't forget it!"
20. How did the triangle celebrate after winning the race? It went out for triangular-shaped ice cream!

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6. Witty Wordplay

1. Why did the circle get a promotion at work? It had all the right connections!
2. What did the triangle say to the circle? "You're so well-rounded!"
3. Why was the square always so considerate? It never put anyone in a tight spot!
4. What did the parallelogram say to the polygon? "Let's shape up and have a great time!"
5. How did the octagon get along with everyone? It always knew how to blend in!
6. Why did the angle refuse to argue? It preferred to keep things acute and positive!
7. What did the rectangle say to the oval? "You're definitely in a league of your own!"
8. How did the polygon handle stress? It always found the right angles to calm down!
9. Why did the triangle go on a diet? It wanted to keep its figure acute!
10. What did the square say to the octagon? "You've got so many facets, it's impressive!"
11. Why did the circle become a motivational speaker? It had a round of inspiring messages!
12. How did the triangle stay healthy? It always ate three well-balanced meals a day!
13. What did the parallelogram say when it won the award? "I guess I'm just a diamond in the rough!"
14. Why did the polygon become a teacher? It wanted to educate others about its many dimensions!
15. What did the circle say to the square during a dance? "Let's keep this movement going around and around!"
16. How did the triangle handle disagreements? It always aimed for a trilateral resolution!
17. Why did the oval always have a positive outlook? It believed in the power of well-rounded thinking!
18. What did the hexagon say in a job interview? "I have six different perspectives to bring to the table!"
19. Why did the circle become a chef? It believed in creating dishes with all-around appeal!
20. What did the pentagon say to the triangle? "You've got some sharp angles, my friend!"

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7. Animal Puns

1. What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra!
2. Why don't dogs use computers? They can't handle the mouse!
3. What kind of bird works at a construction site? A crane!
4. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a dog? Frostbite!
5. How do hens stay fit? They egg-cercise every day!
6. Why did the chicken join a band? It had great drumsticks!
7. What's a bear's favorite piano key? The grizzly A-flat!
8. Why did the cat sit on the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
9. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
10. Why was the monkey so good at math? It was excellent at banana-nometry!
11. What do you call a snake that's 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon!
12. Why did the cow become a magician? It had a-moo-sing tricks up its sleeve!
13. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks!
14. Why did the sheep go on strike? It wanted better wool-working conditions!
15. What do you call a polite pig? A gentle-ham!
16. Why don't fish play basketball? They're afraid of the net!
17. What's a frog's favorite candy? Lolli-hops!
18. Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change its jockeys!
19. Why did the antelope start a band? It had a lot of bucks in its repertoire!
20. How do you know if a cat is agitated? It's feline tense!

8. Food-Related Puns

1. Why did the tomato go out with a prune? Because it couldn't find a date!
2. What did one egg say to the other? You crack me up!
3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well!
4. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
5. What's a pizza maker's favorite song? Slice, Slice, Baby!
6. Why did the lettuce win the race? It was a "head" of the competition!
7. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
8. How do you organize a space party for astronauts? You planet the menu!
9. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice!
10. What did the bread say to the butter? You're my butter half!
11. Why did the chef get arrested? He was caught beating an egg!
12. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
13. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly!
14. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!
15. Why did the grapefruit stop talking? It ran out of juice!
16. What's a skeleton's favorite snack? Ribs and Chips!
17. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well!
18. What's a potato's favorite horror movie? Silence of the Yams!
19. What did the sushi say to the bee? Wassabee!
20. Why did the salad go to the studio? To get its lettuce mixed!

9. Puns about Relationships

1. Why did the circle break up with the rectangle? It felt like their relationship was going in circles.
2. What did the squared couple say when they got engaged? "We're finally in the right angles of love!"
3. Why did the parallelogram go to couples therapy? It needed to work on its parallel relationship.
4. How did the triangle propose to the pentagon? It got down on one vertex and popped the question.
5. What did the circle say to the ellipse? "We're just two shapes in love, orbiting each other."
6. Why did the square refuse to date the rhombus? It felt like their connection was too square.
7. How did the heart shape win over the star shape? It showed it some love angles.
8. Why did the acute angle fall for the obtuse angle? It loved the thrill of opposites attracting.
9. What did the polygon say to the hexagon on their anniversary? "You complete me from all sides!"
10. How did the circle and the spiral patch things up? They took a spin together and smoothed out their differences.
11. Why did the triangle take the octagon to a romantic dinner? It wanted to share a multi-sided experience.
12. What did the rectangle say to the square during a disagreement? "Let's find a common ground and square things off."
13. Why did the quadrilateral invite the trapezoid to meet the family? It wanted everyone to see their diverse angles of love.
14. How did the polygon show affection to the quadrilateral? It showered it with multi-dimensional hugs!
15. Why did the line propose to the point? Because it wanted to make a connection that lasted through all dimensions.
16. What did the ellipse say to the circle when they first met? "I feel like we're destined to be in the same shape of love."
17. Why did the acute angle and the right angle attend couple's yoga? They wanted to work on their flexibility together.
18. How did the polygons navigate their relationship? They charted a course for love with all their intersecting paths.
19. Why did the trapezoid fall for the parallelogram? It found their matching sides irresistible.
20. What did the rectangle say to the square after a fight? "I apologize for my obtuse behavior."

10. Punny Jokes

1. Why don't we ever play hide and seek with a polygon? Because it can't hide in corners!
2. What did the circle say to the square after a long day? "You're such a well-rounded friend!"
3. Why did the triangle refuse to join the singing group? It didn't want to be called a "3-sided note"!
4. How did the octagon cheer up its friends? It gave them eight-sided hugs!
5. Why did the parallelogram invest in the stock market? It wanted to see some parallel gains!
6. What did the polygon say to the circle during a brainstorming session? "Let's shape some great ideas!"
7. Why did the square become a detective? It loved solving right-angle mysteries!
8. What did the angle say to the protractor after a long day? "Let's measure our happiness!"
9. Why did the triangle join the karate class? It wanted to master the art of acute kicks!
10. What did the rectangle say to the oval after a workout? "You're really elliptical to be around!"
11. Why did the circle avoid the crowded party? It didn't want to feel like it was going in circles!
12. How did the polygon handle a challenging situation? It found the right angles to navigate through!
13. Why did the triangle refuse to go fishing? It didn't want any acute catches!
14. What did the square say to the rhombus at the dance party? "Let's show off our symmetrical moves!"
15. Why did the parallelogram become a travel blogger? It loved exploring parallel destinations!
16. How did the pentagon show appreciation to its friends? It presented them with multi-sided gifts!
17. Why did the circle decide to become a mentor? It wanted to share its well-rounded experiences!
18. What did the square say to the trapezoid before a test? "Let's tackle these angles together!"
19. Why did the ellipse invite the polygon to the art exhibition? It wanted to appreciate multi-dimensional art!
20. How did the triangle handle an awkward situation? It found a way to smoothly resolve all sides!

11. Miscellaneous Puns

1. Why did the circle and the square break up? They couldn't find a common circumference.
2. What did the polygon say to the octagon? "You've got some shape-tacular moves!"
3. Why did the rectangle refuse to enter the dance competition? It didn't want to get boxed in.
4. How did the triangle calm down? It took a few acute breaths.
5. What did the pentagon say to the hexagon? "You've got some multi-faceted charm!"
6. Why did the parallelogram become a referee? It always saw both sides of the game.
7. How did the rhombus find inner peace? It meditated on its equal sides.
8. What did the oval tell the circle? "You're always rotating in the right direction!"
9. Why did the line feel misunderstood? It thought people didn't grasp its linear personality.
10. How did the ellipse handle adversity? It knew how to navigate through life's ovals and circles.
11. What did the trapezoid say to the square? "Let's meet on an incline for some edge-y conversations!"
12. Why did the star shape go to therapy? It felt like it was losing its points.
13. Why did the crescent moon have a great sense of humor? It always had a good phase to tell jokes.
14. How did the heart shape console its friend? It assured them that love knows no sharp corners.
15. What did the infinity symbol say to the number eight? "You're just a twist away from eternity!"
16. Why did the hourglass become a motivational speaker? It had an endless supply of timely messages.
17. How did the rectangle win over the diamond shape? It showed that sometimes, simplicity shines the brightest.
18. What did the triangle say to the square? "Don't be so square, let's get a little point-y!"
19. Why did the circle become an architect? It wanted to design rounded spaces that inspired harmony.
20. What did the cloud say to the sun? "You're radiating some sunny angles up there!"