200+ Hilarious Pirate Puns to Shiver Your Timbers and Walk the Plank With Laughter!

Hey there, matey! Ahoy and avast! I've got some booty-ful news for ye - I've plundered the seven seas for the most arrr-mazing pirate puns to tickle yer funny bone! Ye'll be grinning like a Cheshire Cat and keeling over with laughter as we sail through these 200+ hilarrr-ious puns.

So, hoist the anchor, prepare to catch some waves of laughter, and let's set sail for a jolly good time with these pun-derful pirate jokes!

Legendary puns

1. What's a pirate's favorite letter? You may think it's "R," but his first love be the "C"!
2. How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye, matey!
3. Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? They'll just wash up on shore later!
4. What do pirates wear in the winter? PARR-cloths!
5. Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed some arrr and arrr!
6. What's a pirate's favorite kind of exercise? Plank-ing, of course!
7. How do pirates prefer their eggs? Aye-laden!
8. What did the ocean say to the pirate? Nothing, it just waved!
9. Why do pirates make terrible singers? They can't hit the high Cs!
10. How do pirates prefer to count their gold? In doubloons and tripletoons!
11. What's a pirate's favorite school subject? ARRR-tithmetic!
12. Why are pirates great at basketball? They always make the perfect hook shot!
13. What's a pirate's favorite restaurant? Arrrby's!
14. How does a pirate prefer to solve problems? By using his arr-gyle-ithm!
15. What's a pirate's favorite kind of music? Sea shanties, matey!
16. Why did the pirate refuse to say "hello" to anyone at sea? He didn't want to beboard!
17. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? Anything with a good arrr-gument!
18. Why was the pirate's report card so bad? He had too many arrrrrs and not enough A's!
19. How do pirates like to make their coffee? They prefer it with a little bit of sea-zarrrp!
20. What's a pirate's favorite type of cookie? Ships ahoy, of course!

One-liner puns

1. What's a pirate's favorite type of shoes? Booty-licious!
2. Why don't pirates play card games? They're always standing on the deck!
3. How do pirates prefer to style their hair? With a treasure braid!
4. What's a pirate's favorite tech device? The aye-patch!
5. Why did the pirate visit the doctor? He had a bad case of the scurvy-ness!
6. What's a pirate's favorite mode of transportation? A ship-shape carrr!
7. Why do pirates make terrible chefs? They always over-plunder the kitchen!
8. How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch, the aye-patch!
9. What's a pirate's favorite insect? The moth-ARRR!
10. Why don't pirates play hide and seek? Because good luck finding treasure that's hidden!
11. What's a pirate's favorite kind of bread? Roll-matey!
12. How do pirates like their steak? Aye-medium rare!
13. What's a pirate's favorite type of fruit? PARR-ple!
14. Why do pirates make terrible gardeners? They're always over-burying their treasure!
15. What's a pirate's favorite animal? The sea-gull, of course!
16. How do pirates like to celebrate a successful plunder? With a yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum!
17. What's a pirate's favorite board game? Aye spy!
18. Why did the pirate go to the movie theater? He heard it was a swashbuckling film!
19. What's a pirate's favorite type of pasta? Spag-arrgh-etti!
20. Why don't pirates do well in school? They're always hooked on playing instead of studying!

Captivating puns

1. Why do pirates make terrible comedians? Their jokes are always arrgh-ful!
2. What's a pirate's favorite type of seafood? Barrr-cuda!
3. How do pirates like their burgers? With extra arrrr-gula!
4. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
5. What's a pirate's favorite board game? Avast-rs of Catan!
6. Why did the pirate take a parrot to the party? He wanted to be the life of the parrr-ty!
7. What's a pirate's favorite type of art? The Mona Arr-risa!
8. How do pirates prefer to communicate underwater? With aye-balls!
9. Why did the pirate love music class? He could practice his arr-rhythm!
10. What's a pirate's favorite currency? Pirate booty, of course!
11. Why don't pirates eat fast food? They're always on a slow ship!
12. How did the pirate pass the time on the deserted island? He read arr-ticles on castaway etiquette!
13. What's a pirate's favorite game show? Wheel of anchor!
14. Why do pirates make terrible detectives? They always jump to arrr-conclusions!
15. How do pirates like their tea? With a splash of rum and a hint of seaa-soning!
16. What's a pirate's favorite accessory? A treasure chest-pocket!
17. Why did the pirate take a map to bed? He wanted to dream of buried treasure!
18. What's a pirate's favorite type of joke? A buccaneer-y pun!
19. Why don't pirates shop at regular stores? They prefer to hunt for bargains at sea-sales!
20. What's a pirate's favorite constellation? The Big Dip-arrr!

Pirate puns for kids

• Why did the pirate go to the movie theater? He wanted to see a arrr-rated film!
• What's a pirate's favorite candy? Lifesav-ARRs!
• How do pirates prefer to stay in shape? By doing sea-saw exercises!
• Why don't pirates tell secrets? They're afraid someone might let slip!
• What's a pirate's favorite game at the fair? Hook-a-duck!
• How do pirates prefer to keep their treasure safe? They guard it with their lfe (and a lock and key)!
• Why did the pirate start a band? He wanted to play some arrr and arrr music!
• What's a pirate's favorite element? Gold, silver, and Pewter!
• How do pirates like to celebrate New Year's Eve? With a bottle of champ-arrghne!
• Why don't pirates take an umbrella when it rains? They're used to the seaa spray!
• What's a pirate's favorite subject in school? History, especially the arrr-chives!
• How did the pirate pay for his new ship? With pieces of eight!
• Why did the pirate bring a map to the party? In case he needed to chart a course to a good time!
• What's a pirate's favorite type of art? Pieces of eigh-ARRt!
• How do pirates prefer to shop? They love to find treaa-sure troves!
• Why are pirates great at organizing events? They know how to throw a good anchor party!
• What's a pirate's favorite vegetable? Carrr-ots, of course!
• How do pirates prefer to send messages? By using the r-G-Mail!
• Why did the pirate visit the bakery? He heard they had amazing don-ARRs!
• What's a pirate's favorite dinosaur? The Tyrannosaurus ARRRex!

Puns for the high seas

1. Why did the pirate become a writer? He wanted to create arrrr-ticles!
2. What's a pirate's favorite type of art? Treasure trove-ism!
3. How do pirates celebrate their birthdays? With a ship-shape party, of course!
4. Why are pirates excellent sailors? They have a knack for navig-ARR-ting!
5. What's a pirate's favorite game at the amusement park? The swash-buckler ride!
6. How did the pirate fix his ship? With arrr-chitecture skills!
7. Why don't pirates listen to classical music? They prefer sea shanties over symphon-ARRs!
8. What's a pirate's favorite dessert? Rum-infused treasure cake!
9. Why do pirates make terrible bankers? They're always burying their loot instead of depositing it!
10. How do pirates prefer to decorate their ships? With arrr-tistic flair!
11. What's a pirate's favorite type of exercise equipment? The plank-o-matic 3000!
12. Why was the pirate such a great storyteller? He had a knack for spinning a good yarn!
13. How do pirates like to spend their weekends? Hunting for bountiful treasures, matey!
14. What's a pirate's favorite type of hat? The tres-ARR-ed tricorn!
15. Why did the pirate take a bath in the treasure chest? He wanted to soak up all the loot!
16. What's a pirate's favorite kind of play? The swash-buckling theatrical adventure!
17. Why don't pirates play hide and seek in the jungle? They're better at hiding treasure at sea!
18. How do pirates stay in shape? By doing cannonball exercises, arrr-m muscles!
19. What's a pirate's favorite social media platform? Treaaarrrr-book!
20. Why are pirates terrible at dancing? They always step on each other's peg legs!

Shipshape puns

1. Why don't pirates ever catch a cold? They're always checking the weather with their aye-phone!
2. What's a pirate's favorite type of sushi? Aye-maki rolls!
3. How do pirates like their steak cooked? On a sear-oboard!
4. What's a pirate's favorite board game? Arr-chitecture!
5. Why did the pirate take up gardening? He heard it was a great way to grow some arr-ganically grown loot!
6. What's a pirate's favorite condiment? TARR-tar sauce, of course!
7. How do pirates prefer to keep their hair neat? With a treasure chest comb!
8. Why don't pirates ever go to the gym? They get enough exercise swashbuckling and treasure hunting!
9. What's a pirate's favorite candy? Gummy shipwrecks!
10. Why did the pirate get into the joke-telling business? He saw a chance to become a buccaneer-y comedian!
11. How do pirates prefer to keep their ships clean? With arrrr-ganic cleaning supplies!
12. What's a pirate's favorite footwear brand? Booty Couture!
13. Why don't pirates surf the internet? They prefer to sail the web instead!
14. How do pirates prefer to store their spices? In their treasure chests, seasoning them with sea-salt!
15. What's a pirate's favorite hobby? Knot-tying, especially when it comes to tying up treasure chests!
16. Why did the pirate become a novelist? He wanted to pen some arrr-dventurous tales!
17. What's a pirate's favorite book genre? Marrr-itime mysteries!
18. How do pirates like their coffee in the morning? With a shot of rum for a jolly good wake-up call!
19. What's a pirate's favorite TV show? Arrr-rrow, the swashbuckling adventures are right up their alley!
20. Why did the pirate bring a broom to the treasure hunt? He wanted to sweep away the competition!

Buccaneer banter

1. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? In case they have to wash ashore!
2. What's a pirate's favorite math operation? Sub-arr-action!
3. How do pirates make important decisions? They take a pARR-liamentary vote!
4. Why are pirates bad at playing cards? They can't handle the arrr-rithmetic!
5. What's a pirate's favorite type of footwear? SandARR-ls!
6. How do pirates make phone calls at sea? They use their shell phone!
7. Why don't pirates go to the gym? They get all their exercise from swabbing the deck!
8. What's a pirate's favorite type of sushi? Aye-yam roll!
9. Why did the pirate get a pet monkey? To have a matey for life!
10. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie popcorn? But-ARR-ed!
11. How do pirates keep their treasure safe? They keep it under lock and keel!
12. Why don't pirates go to art galleries? They prefer to admire the mast-erpieces at sea!
13. What's a pirate's favorite type of cheese? PlundARR!
14. How do pirates like their eggs? Sunnyside up with a side of seafARR-ing!
15. What's a pirate's favorite constellation? The PlANK-hor!
16. Why did the pirate take a ladder to the bar? To pick the highest spirits!
17. What's a pirate's favorite part of a song? The yo-ho-ho chorus!
18. How do pirates like their steak? Aye-bone!
19. What's a pirate's favorite social media platform? Instarr-gram!
20. Why are pirates so good at basketball? They always make a swish with their hooks!

Puns for mateys

1. Why do pirates make terrible gardeners? They tend to over-grow their arrr-dens!
2. How do pirates like their sandwiches? With plenty of sea-spread!
3. What's a pirate's favorite social event? A swash-buckling ball!
4. Why did the pirate start a band? He wanted to play some arrr-chestral music!
5. What's a pirate's favorite fruit? PARR-chments, of course!
6. How do pirates prefer to take their tea? With a splash of seaa-rmilk!
7. What's a pirate's favorite holiday? IntARR-national Talk Like a Pirate Day!
8. Why do pirates make terrible DJs? They can't spin a good arrr-remix!
9. How do pirates like their burgers? With extra arrru-gula and sarrghacha sauce!
10. What's a pirate's favorite game at the fair? Walk the plank, matey!
11. Why don't pirates play musical instruments? They're too busy with their arrr-chaeology endeavors!
12. How do pirates like their pizza? With plenty of seafARR-ings and chee-arrghse!
13. What's a pirate's favorite dance move? The yo-ho-ho-down!
14. Why did the pirate go to the pet store? He was looking for a parrr-rot-ner!
15. What's a pirate's favorite type of bird? Aye-ther of them, as long as they fly the jolly roger!
16. Why are pirates great at riddles? They have a knack for arrr-guing their way through clues!
17. How do pirates prefer their pancakes? With a drizzle of maplarrgh syrup!
18. What's a pirate's favorite kind of cheese? PlundARR-gy!
19. Why did the pirate go to the art museum? He heard they had plenty of pirate-turresque paintings!
20. What's a pirate's favorite place to shop? Arrrg-Mart, where they find all their booty needs!

Pirate wordplay

1. What's a pirate's favorite type of pasta? Penne-d the plank!
2. Why do pirates enjoy playing the guitar? They love strumming the plank-tar!
3. How do pirates like to style their hair? With a treas-hair braid!
4. What's a pirate's favorite language? Parrot-rro!
5. Why are pirates terrible at DIY? They always end up nailing the plank instead of the deck!
6. What's a pirate's favorite snack? Goldfish crARR-ckers!
7. Why did the pirate go to the doctor? He needed a shot of arrrchery!
8. How do pirates decorate their ship? With cross-stARR-ching flags!
9. What do pirates say during a treasure hunt? "X marks the spARR-t!"
10. Why are pirates great storytellers? They have a knack for spARR-ing a good yarn!
11. What's a pirate's favorite fruit? PARR-simon!
12. How do pirates like their wine? Aged in a keg and with a swashbuckling aftertaste!
13. Why did the pirate get an eye tattooed on his palm? So he could always keep an aye on the treasure map!
14. What's a pirate's favorite planet? Marr-s!
15. How do pirates prefer to travel? On the prow-l!
16. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!
17. Why did the pirate ghost go to the party? To raise the dead mast!
18. What's a pirate's favorite weather? Light wARR-ning!
19. Why do pirates make great weather forecasters? They always know how to call for a good squARR-l!
20. How do pirates like their sandwiches? With plenty of swashbuckle-berry jam!

Treasure trove of puns

1. Why did the pirate take a nap? He needed some arrr and arrr-rest!
2. What's a pirate's favorite part of a song? The chorus, especially the yo-ho-ho part!
3. How do pirates solve problems? By using their arrrgyle-ithm, of course!
4. Why don't pirates do well in the jungle? They prefer to navigate the high Cs!
5. Why did the pirate ghost go to the party? To raise the dead mast and dance a ghostly jig!
6. How do pirates like to celebrate New Year's Eve? With a bottle of champ-arrghne and a jolly good yo-ho-ho!
7. What's a pirate's favorite type of bread? Roll-matey, it must have many crusty treasures!
8. Why do pirates go to arrr-cade game rooms? They're always up for a game of swash-buckling fun!
9. How did the pirate stop smoking? He used the patch, the aye-patch, to kick the habit!
10. What's a pirate's favorite mode of transportation? A ship-shape carrr, sailing on the streets!
11. Why did the pirate bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the spirits were on the top shelf and wanted to reach the high seas!
12. How do pirates like to send messages? By using the r-G-Mail, with plenty of sea-dails!
13. What's a pirate's favorite type of art? The Mona Arr-risa – it's a masterpiece worthy of a treasure map!
14. Why are pirates great at riddles? They have a knack for arrr-guing their way through clues, especially when treasure is at stake!
15. What's a pirate's favorite type of event? A swash-buckling ball, where everyone dances a jig with a hook in hand!
16. Why do pirates like to shop at sea? They love finding treaa-sure troves with bargains like no other!
17. How do pirates like their tea? With a splash of rum and a hint of seaa-soning, for a perfect brew!
18. What's a pirate's favorite accessory? A treasure chest-pocket, to keep their loot close at hand!
19. Why did the pirate visit the bakery? He heard they had amazing don-ARRs, filled with sweet treasures!
20. What's a pirate's favorite dinosaur? The Tyrannosaurus ARRRex – a fearsome creature worthy of the high seas!

Puns that plunder the funny bone

1. Why did the pirate become a musician? He wanted to learn how to arrr-chestrate some jolly good tunes!
2. How do pirates tell time? With an arrr-clock that always points to the treasure hour!
3. What's a pirate's favorite game on a smartphone? Plunder Crush - it's arrr-guably addictive!
4. Why don't pirates like to play hide and seek on land? They prefer searching for hidden booty at sea!
5. What did the pirate say when he found the treasure map? "X marks the spot for arrr-iginal adventure!"
6. How do pirates like their pancakes? With a generous drizzle of gold-flavored syrup!
7. What's a pirate's favorite social media platform? Treaaarrrr-tter, where they tweet their pirate banter!
8. Why did the pirate bring a broom to the treasure hunt? In case he had to sweep away any obstacles to the loot!
9. How do pirates like to communicate on the high seas? They prefer arrr-ganized semaphore for ship-to-ship banter!
10. What's a pirate's favorite mode of transportation within their ship? They love to use the sail-phone to navigate swiftly!
11. Why did the pirate go to the library? To borrow some arrrticles on mariner history and pirate legends!
12. How do pirates like their donuts? With a sprinkle of sea-salt for that extra savory arrr-oma!
13. What's a pirate's favorite board game at sea? Plunder-opoly, where they can buy and sell pirate havens!
14. Why don't pirates use regular keys? They manage their treasure chests with captain keys and loot locks!
15. What did the pirate say to the crossword puzzle? "Ahoy, ye can't puzzle me with these arrr-gonizing words!"
16. How do pirates prefer to build sandcastles? With treasure trove shapes and a moat filled with arrr-chitectural flair!
17. What's a pirate's favorite workout on deck? Swashbuckling lunges and treasure chest lifts for a hearty pirate physique!
18. Why did the pirate bring a map to the restaurant? In case the menu didn't offer enough swashbuckling options!
19. How do pirates prefer to communicate with sea creatures? They use arrr-tificial sonar for a whale of a good conversation!
20. What's a pirate's favorite job? Splicing the mainbrace for a good swig of grog and hearty sea-faring tales!